“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah
From our birth to death, we are all in a long adventure called life. Confidence is one of the most important components of one’s personality to continue this adventure and it is the key to success that you need to augment in your child.
A study shows that a high level of confidence increases success in business, academy, and relationships. Especially the academic success is highly dependent on a student’s confidence in his or her abilities (Bista K., 2014).
You should also note that while children are growing, their competencies and skills need to develop. Self-esteem is a set of skills that allows a child to keep trying, to keep learning, and to keep caring (Apter T., 2007). Therefore, confidence contributes to the development of almost every skill of children.
Considering that, a huge role belongs to the parents to provide children with high self-esteem and confidence. It is mainly your responsibility to teach your child to be confident if you want him/her to succeed in life. In this article, we will explore how parents can improve their child’s self-confidence by complying with the 8 tips I have compiled below.
How to Raise a Child More Confident in Life
1) Encourage Your Child as Much as Possible
Courage is an indispensable key for all people and your child also needs the courage to develop various skills in everyday life. Therefore, you
This courage will not only motivate him/her or make him feel better but also will be a crucial basis for your child’s inner voice.
You need to be patient if you want your child to succeed in the future. Your child must learn from the failures by the aid from you and improve in time. For example, when your child falls, you should support him and teach him to stand up whenever he fails in life.
However, you should not always be with your child whenever he/she fails so that your child should not seek support each time. If you’re with them in their every fault, they will want to see you again whenever they do something wrong.
But life is not such a place. It is not possible to find a power figure to hold us our arm and to lift us up whenever we want. Therefore, you need to find a good balance between them. You should support your child while not getting him/her so much engaged to you.
2) Let Your Child Make Decisions on His Own
You can create an opportunity for your child to decide on a few issues which are not very crucial.
Obviously, you should not ask them to decide where to move on. However, while buying a new lamp in your child’s room, for example, you can get his/her thoughts about it. Talking to him about this can give him/her a chance to talk about which lamp can give the room more light and which one is more suited to the room’s decoration etc.
You should also give him/her the opportunity to make decisions about him/herself. According to Shure, M. B., and DiGeronimo, T. F., kids are confident when they’re able to negotiate to get what they want (1996).
For example, you can permit him/her to wear the clothes or read the books that he/she wants instead of your decisions so that you can make your child feel worthwhile.
Moreover, decisions made by your child should also be rational decisions. For example, when you ask your two-year-old daughter what she wants to eat at breakfast today, your answer may be chocolate or cake. This will be an unhealthy decision, although it will improve her own decision-making skills.
Therefore, you can ask more simple questions for young children. For example, “Which one would you like to eat at breakfast an omelet or a
shredded egg?” is a better question. It would make more sense for the younger children. As a result, what we ask is as important as asking questions.
3) Focus on What Your Child Can Do Instead of What They Can’t
Like every person, your child can make mistakes. But instead of at the mistakes, you can look at the more positive side.
For example, when your child is trying to draw a picture of the sun but cannot draw a full round, what you need to do is to focus on your child’s effort to draw a picture. You can tell that this picture is his/her own and everything that is done in it is special.
You have to tell him that his/her painting of the sun does not resemble any other pictures of the sun previously drawn and it is his/her special picture of the sun. This motivating talk can both encourage your child to paint and contribute to his creativity.
According to Strauss, D. J., and Harris, R. J. (1975), it is much more effective to encourage children with warm and sincere commendation, and to express confidence in their abilities and optimism about their progress.
Therefore, the positive feedback you give to your child will also contribute to their developmental progress. For example, you may need to say words such as “I like the way you do it” or “you’ve been doing so well”.
Especially when some children are afraid of doing wrong, they may not be able to start many things. Saying these magic words will be the best supporter for them as well.
4) Allow Your Child to Solve Their Own Problems
Your child may face many problems in
The solution path for each problem is different. For this reason, we need to add different life skills to our children. With support from us, they can find solutions to their problems on their own.
For example, it wouldn’t be right for the family to go into discussion with the other child when they have a fight. Many skills like this should be learned in the family.
Furthermore, letting them
5) Don’t Criticize Your Child for Things He/She Can’t
We all have things that we can and cannot do. Similarly, there may be things that our child is struggling with or have difficulty in sustaining.
For this reason, you should never give any harsh criticism to your child. These criticisms can decrease your child’s confidence to do things that he/she cannot.
You are as important for your child as he/she is for you. From your behavior to the words you say, your child observes everything you do.
Therefore, you should pay attention to every word that comes out of your mouth. What you say and how you say is very important. Even when you think that you say something very normal, your child may be susceptible to it. Therefore, you should pay attention to the language you use and the way you say it.
You should never criticize your child. Instead, you should give your child positive feedback and refrain from saying things that are bad for what they’ve done such as humiliating words.
For example, your child may have difficulty in playing basketball. You would feel proudful you tell him/her that he/she is inadequate for it. But instead, it would be more useful to tell him/her that he/she needs to support the ball from the bottom to raise it further so that he/she be more successful at basketball. Also, it will both improve family ties and strengthen your child’s self-confidence.
6) Put Your Child in the Goals He/She Wants to Do
When your child is focused on a job, you can help him/her as he/she might fail when he/she doesn’t know how to do it. This may break your child’s confidence in failures.
Therefore, your child can accomplish some goals in the jobs he/she wants to do step-by-step . No person can learn to walk without crawling.
For example, your child may want to learn swimming and leaving him/her in a pool expecting him/her to swim is not a logical step.
Instead, it would be a more effective way to give him/her some swimming equipments and instruct him/her to stand on water and clap his/her feet. In this way, your child can see that he/she can do it slowly and his/her confidence may increase.
Also, the targets you put should be short and clear. Your child should wish to achieve these goals. It must be said that he/she can proceed without forcing and pressing it.
Furthermore, your goals should be logical. For example, if your child does not want to play tennis, you should not force him/her to play tennis. When he/she doesn’t want to develop that skill the goals you put for him/her can’t help.
Therefore, what your child thinks is very important. You have to listen to her thoughts and feelings so that the goals may have positive impacts on your child.
For example, your child who loves tennis has difficulty in understanding the goals you put and may not want to do it. Therefore, his/her interest in tennis may end and he/she may not want to play again.
7) Show Your Child That You Love Him/Her
The first thing the children see in this world is their parents. That is why children trust their parents most. He/she loves his/her parents who are next to him/her at any time and he/she wants to see this love from the other side.
Just like a plant for whom water is not enough to grow, your children need more than his/her physical necessities. You need to show your love to your children. When he/she suspects your love, you should tell it to him/her.
Love is the medicine for every illness. It gives your child the opportunity to do things that he/she cannot do. You
8) Offer Your Child the Opportunity for New Experiences
Finally, you should give your child different experiences. You may know what your child likes or dislikes. But you never know if your child likes something that he/she never tried.
Therefore, it is in your hands to encourage and open new ways for him/her. For example, your child loves animals and may have experienced many sciences, social and cognitive experiences. However, if you do not introduce dinosaurs to your child, you will not know what it will be like.
You can give him/her the confidence to encourage him/her by providing new experiences.
In addition, your child may fail in a subject and may not want to work again in this area. You can show your child new experiences and show him/her that there are different aspects of this field.
For example, your child does not like math activities and may not want to participate in them. If you present math to your child in a fun and colorful way, your child may become more curious and experienced.
It is very important for families to grow a child as a self-confident individual. It is an indispensable part of both the present and the future characteristic
As a result, if we want to raise children with high self-esteem, we should support our children and refrain from limiting their development.
Apter, T. E. (2007). The confident child: Raising children to believe in themselves. New York: W.W. Norton.
Bista, K. (2014). Journal of International Student. Italia. Volume 4 Nuumber 4.
Lickona, T. D. (1994). Raising Good Children: From birth through the teenage years. New York: Bantam.
Shure, M. B., & DiGeronimo, T. F. (1996). Raising a thinking child: Help your young child to resolve everyday conflicts and get along with others: The “I can problem solve” program. New York: Pocket Books.
Strauss, D. J., & Harris, R. J. (1975). Confident Children and How They Grow. A Primer of Multivariate Statistics. Biometrics,31(2), 588. Doi:10.2307/2529445